This is my second night of off-and-on, lucid sleep with long periods of being awake, and I’m reminded of all the astrological goings on I’ve read about regarding Thursday’s New Moon eclipse, the partial solar eclipse later in the month, and the full moon eclipse after that.
What I’ve been reading is that this eclipse season is about endings and new beginnings, and one where I am feeling a personal embrace of all things of the earth, including astrology and how the planets, their spins and orbits, and sun and moon alignments affect us all.
We have been trained to be logical, productive work horses, in all of our schooling and formative years of our life, there has always been this pressure to perform, not to be, not to intuit, and especially not to enjoy, even these temporary nights of restlessness. This is where I’m finding one of my endings and new beginnings: a letting go of the performance anxiety, letting go of having to sleep a perfect 8-hour night starting at the exact moment I lay down, and I am embracing even more the way of the mystical, the feminine, the slower, contemplative, unproductive, and more mysterious ways of the universe. I’m finding it to be soooo much less anxiety-producing, soooo much more fun, so much more calming, so much more me.
And then, as if to confirm and affirm this all, I saw 2, bright, huge, shooting stars, 3 nights ago, from my backyard, in the heart of Redding. Shooting stars symbolize this very thing: endings and new beginnings. And like the New Moon, they ask us to wish for, or set intentions for, our heart’s desires.
So, as I’m laying awake now, at 4:13 am, having been awake for about an hour, listening to super soothing meditative music, I’m asking myself this very question: what do I yearn for? What kind of wish do I want to send out, into the stars….? Looks like I have some time to dream about it…. 💫
Read more about these astrological influences:
i love this post; this era of performance is exhausting; I have chosen to stay out of this pressure. However, there is afine line, between falling into indulgence and nothingness and not subscribing to the performance urge. I still find my self unconsciously feeling guilty when I have chosen to take things a bit slower. The questions of people surrounding you, putting pressure…. sometimes you don’t necessarily have the answer and then you feel guilty because you don’t have the answer for them; on what’s your next assignment, next project, next vacation, etc
I so know what you mean. There are moments where I happily lean back all the more into the indulgence, almost in rebellion, and find healing there. It’s like I’m giving permission to others to do the same and so on one hand I am actually not doing nothing. One book I read recently said it this way: “we have been out here on earth to fart around and don’t let anyone tell you differently.” (Sex at Dawn) I just keep following the pleasure, practicing meditation and awareness when I find anxiety and guilt rise up, and I’m watching as health, abundance, and joy take their place….