It’s so seductive, so alluring... being busy. It has a comfort, like an accepted & even celebrated addiction... a bit of adventure in this modern world of convenience & comfort...
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These past few weeks have been non-stop for me & the accomplishments & checked-off lists are so rewarding, & so draining. It’s felt both fun & overwhelming, enchanting & choking... .
Last night, during my Restorative Nidra class, I had to consciously choose to not continue the allure of activity as texts came in regarding a super exciting business transaction. I knew that in that moment, if I made the choice to keep up the rush, the busy, I’d be letting my students down, even though they would never see me respond to the texts (I will use my phone in Restorative classes as a timer, to control the music that’s connected via Bluetooth, & to share inspirational quotes & articles, & it’s dark & they’re in poses on their back), non-the-less the energy would be felt. Like a devil, it would be a selling of my soul if I gave in to the temptation...
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Each moment is a choice, & it shapes the future. As I drove home last night I heard the phrases “I need to slow down, I need to do less” run through my mind, but I stopped even those: to deny these moments, as they are, is just another form of self criticism, judgment, & shame. It is what it is, right now, & this moment will change. My choices define my future, I have learned from each one, & choose & will continue to choose where I want to go next. Like a Vinyasa Yoga class, there are times of struggle & growth as we take on new poses & explore new edges, see how far we can go, & then there’s the child’s pose, the 5-breath downdog, the savasana, respite & break. Life is a flow, & I’m going to enjoy every second of it’s dance.💥 .
Saturday, 10/19 is the @unitedagainstcancer 2020 Calendar Launch Party & Fashion Show in San Francisco, 👆🏼this pic is from last year’s event. Part of the busy lately, an incredible fundraising project I am honored to be a part of as an ovarian cancer survivor of 17-years. I have a strong sense that this event will be a reset, a cherry on top of my life of busy, & I’ll come back different. I welcome you to join me.
Stopping and pausing to love those unlovable parts, welcoming and embracing those intense feelings, watching as they become my friends, no longer something I try to get rid of or ignore, busying myself to avoid. 👈🏼 All of this, even in the middle of the night, because we are the proverbial onion analogy and it’s not up to me when these feelings come. So, even when it’s most inconvenient, I’ll accept and love myself, and then wait for that second sleep... 😴 .
I taught a private @onwateryoga session yesterday and as I drove out to the lake, I felt thankful for this huge break I’ve had from the year-round push and non-stop classes. It wasn’t something I asked for or wanted, but as it’s happened, I’ve recognized it was something I really needed. So much has happened in the last year and a half 🔥 and this break allowed some new chapters to begin, and old ones to close. I’ve wondered what role SUP Yoga would play in my future, and I’m sure it will not be what it once was, instead, it will be better than before. 🌀 Stay tuned for some exciting news... 🏄🏼♀️ 🤙🏼 .
#onwateryoga #thisisredding #reddingyoga #whiskeytownlake #ptsdrecovery #ovariancancersurvivor #rapesurvivor #secondsleep #lovingtheunloveable #yinyoga #thisismeditation #nonattachment #Aparigraha #lovingembrace #selfhealers #makingfriends #carrfire #recoveryjourney #shastcounty #togetherwerise #welcomeitall #lovethehelloutofit #facingshame
When I lived with close girl friends and most of my friends weren’t married and didn’t have kids or serious relationships, this owner/operator business gig was a perfect fit: it provided a welcome balance to my active social life and gave me the individual, quiet, and creative time I needed. As my friends have gotten married, started having kids, moved away, and as I too have entered into a committed relationship, things have changed and I’ve been recognizing the need for a change in my businesses too. .
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Coming out of a 4-day, part 1, continuing education training in Mind-Body Skills and Trauma Recovery has me processing some new directions that have been stirring in my soul for awhile now... I’m stoked for what’s next... this training with @mindbodymed was such a gift, for the information yes, but more importantly for me: the connections to so many like-minded practitioners of this craft, (here in Redding!!) and for the required group classes that I will be leading as part of my training. .
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It can feel very isolating being in a small, conservative town, that’s the biggest town for 150+ miles, doing things that so many call “hippy-dippy-do” or “demonic.”
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Change, positive, life-giving, science-based, emotional, trauma-recovery-change is coming to you Redding, and I’m happy to be part of the force that is bringing it. 💥 .
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As I have since 2010, I’m teaching these very mind-body skills each week through various different outlets. Today starts a new venture with @blueshieldofca : Mindfulness Meditation classes at 12:05 and 12:35pm, available for employees of the Redding office. And a new Warm Vinyasa class at @balance.yogacenter at 6:15pm. Reach out to me for private yoga and yoga therapy in my private studio, your home, or on the water(!!) and see the link in my bio for other classes, workshops, and offerings. 🌀
#carrfire #carrfirerecovery #traumarecovery #ptsdrecovery #aces #mindbodymedicine #evidencebasedtraumaresearch #reddingstrong #reddingyoga #yogatherapy #reddingcalifornia #reddingca #thisisredding #shastacounty #balanceyogacenter #changes #growingwiththeflow
Last night I shared this analogy with this man: “Like I’m stepping out of long time patterns and traumas, I’m in a threshold where the old skin is peeling away and how I’ve always done things (teaching Vinyasa yoga classes in particular) no longer works.” .
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I’m teaching a Level 1-2 Warm Vinyasa class on Monday nights now and I realized that I used to feel such anxiety and pressure when I taught these classes in the past, not really believing I was a good teacher, and trying so hard to prove that I was. As I drove away from @balance.yogacenter last night, I felt the familiar anxiety and self-affirming story when I realized that I forgot a whole standing sequence on the left side... 🙄 This time, however, I let myself feel the depth of the let-down in the mistake, not as self punishment, but as a way to stop making myself feel better in a needless, insecure, self propping-up, “positive Polly-Anna” affirmation story of “Oh well, I inspired a home practice. We all make mistakes.” I am a good teacher, AND I let my students down because I believed I had to prove myself: it clouded my confidence, true nature, and gift. .
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And so it is, yet again, this beautiful practice and awareness of non-duality: I can be both humble and proud, imperfect and amazing, beautiful and ugly, new and old. And, stepping more and more into the fullness of who I am... 🤙🏼 🌀
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#sheddingskin #thisisredding #reddingyoga #balanceyogacenter #reddingcalifornia #reddingca #teachertruths #healingpasttraumas #anxietyhelp #yogatherapy #thisisyoga #thisismeditation #awareness #selfawareness #nonduality #selflove #selfrespect #meandmyboyfriend #lovehim #cancersurvivor #ovariancancersurvivor #traumarecoveryispossible #itsajourney #wholeness #teacherlife #yogateacherconfessions
👆🏼3 years ago today I was hiking along the sacred Camino De Santiago in Spain and leading daily yoga. Life has moved in such a different direction that it almost doesn’t feel as if this happened... it’s good to remember. Good to remind myself of what has happened, that shapes and marks me, and use these experiences to determine how I want to move forward. .
Today is the New Moon. 🌚 A time to do such things, shaping how we’d like this next cycle to be. A time of stepping back, taking stock, and celebrating all that has happened. Remembering... processing, resting... .
I chose to post this pic in part because I was deep in my Divine Feminine journey at this time, pushing through deeply held beliefs of how a woman is to “behave,” and finding my own way, trusting my feminine nature, in all its messy, full, and darkness... I’m feeling it’s time for another round of this. 🔥 .
Tomorrow marks the first day of Navarati in India. The only celebration in the world that takes 9 nights to honor the Divine Feminine, Shakti energy, as God. I’ve got some ideas of how I’m going to celebrate during this time, possibly even bringing back some daily dance videos: were you here for those 99 days??! I’ll allow for some cultivation of this energy tonight, on the eve of Navarati, in my Restorative & Yoga Nidra Workshop at @balance.yogacenter. Join us from 5-7pm, or during my next one on October 27. Details in the link in the bio. .
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#divinefeminine #shaktirising #shaktirisingnorcal #reddingyoga #reddingcalifornia #camino #caminodesantiago #leon #shakti #durgapuja #navaratri #celebratethefeminine #thisisredding #reddingca #shastacounty #celebratethefemaleform
Saturday’s New Moon is one that defines our future; potentially challenging energy, this is a time to make friends with our shadow, dark, and “unlovable” parts of ourselves, all to help us step more into our authentic selves. Take this time to give yourself love, all of yourself... and surrender, 🌚 allow some rejuvenation before the next cycle of things begins.
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I’ve got a Restorative & Yoga Nidra Workshop happening under this New Moon, 9/28, from 5-7pm at @balance.yogacenter . Full via the link in the bio, under Special Events. Together, we will tune in and learn about this specific astrological influence, relax, and unwind with 2 deeply healing yoga practices. 👉🏼There’s a discount when you pre-register. .
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Pic of the beautiful @earlymorningdancer showing us the bliss of restorative yoga... 🥰
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#thisisredding #reddingyoga #balanceyogacenter #norcallife #reddingcalifornia #reddingca #shastacounty #libranewmoon #newmoonvibes #yogatherapy #restore
