My Not So Sublime Shakti Pilgrimage in India

This trip took me to places I was afraid to go: inside myself, with others, and deep into the Divine Feminine.

Amongst filth I didn’t know possible, hotels crawling with bed bugs, rats, black mold, and bats, we seemed to travel back in time to a culture of depth and rich history, visiting Hindu Goddess temples, some of which still practice animal-sacrifice, to study the remnants of matriarchal society, Goddess worship, and all Her beautiful aspects.

I fell to pieces here in India. The Goddess (a female representation/perspective/aspect of God) has picked up the pieces, filling in places with holes; I had no safe arms to crawl into, nothing familiar to steady myself with, I had to rely on Her, in me, and feel, cry, laugh, gasp, stand in shock, and experience all that is within and around.

This struggle, this rupture, has given me the opportunity to make Her mine, to see Her strength within me, to know Her as my Goddess, to own the female image of God and all her aspects, flavors, and nuances.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I needed to be on this Sublime Shakti Pilgrimage, this trip was an answer to a deep aching prayer I’ve been praying, perhaps since the moment of my conception. This trip has brought together so many of the fragmented truths I’ve known and learned and felt and questioned.

There’s a primal wisdom inside us all and She wants to remake us into who we are meant to be, owning our dark places, standing in our truth, feeling our vulnerability, so we can know our radiance, no matter how hospitable or inhospitable our environment, how supportive or unsupportive our leaders, how familiar or unfamiliar each situation is.

To my fellow travelers who’ve been to India: I salute you. To my companions who experienced this 3-week pilgrimage with me: I love you. To those of you who prayed, reached out, and stood with me from afar, thank you.

What a gift it, you, and She is. Now, I get to walk this out in my home land…. ok. Jai ma.

xoxo

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