What men want 

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In my yearning to learn and grow and understand how the world works, my role in it, and how my desires might be better fueled with this enlightenment, I’ve been passionately expanding my breath of knowledge about how relationships between men and women work best. To date, one of the most helpful and profound gifts I’ve received was a video titled “A Plea to Women” from John Wineland. I have listened and watched this video over the past 9 months to the point where I have it nearly memorized, but, it’s not just his words that are so dynamic, it’s his heart. Each passionate syllable he speaks awakens within me the divine goddess called woman that I am and it hasn’t been easy. This is edgy work!  I’ve grown more and more in touch with my femininity and what that looks like for me and the men (and other women!) in my life.

Here are my notes from “A Plea to Women” video. Welcome to the awakening:

1. Celebrate the differences between men and women. Find my curiosity and playfulness within this. Have fun with our differences!

2. Know that my man loves range. He craves range! Let myself be the sassy co-ed, the divine light and mother, and the cock-worshipping whore.

3. What works well in business and at work is not the same as what helps a relationship be successful. My man doesn’t want to know what book to read or what therapist he should see. He wants my vulnerability. He wants to hear how he has disappointed me or how sad I am about his action(s). He wants to hear and feel my heart so he can get the chance to be my hero.

4. Even if I’m super angry at him, find something in him that I trust and love. Honor him with that.

5. Be angry! Don’t settle for his bullshit.

6. Surrender to him. Find ways to trust him, let go, and as some men would call it, be submissive…..

7. Flow, open, and move my body. Connect with the womanly art of passion and desire while moving. “Less tough mudder, more sacred dance.” As the song says: there’s something in the way she moves, not in the way she thinks.

8. Slow down: how I speak, how I move.

9. I more often want more, while he more often wants less, so pause and feel first, before I give him what I want to give him. Listen and tap into my intuition, not logic, with him and our relationship.

10. Love him with the same amount of energy that I used when I was angry.

11. My man wants to love me well. He is dying to love me well, but he is different, think simple.

12. I have every right to be angry at the centuries of oppression, at the over-sexulatization of our culture, at the abuse, but the question is now: what do I want to create? I have been given a new beginning, what do I want to create with my man, because he wants to create with me.

What I’ve found most helpful is to not try to get this “right”, but instead, to be open and communicative as I work these truths out in and for myself, both with my girl friends and my guy, and humbly ask for help. With the world having oppressed women for so long, we are just beginning to see the light as to how much so and who we really are as women, and what that looks like for each of us as individuals. We are products of our environment and we can stay that way, or we can overcome. The more I delve into the divine feminine the more good fruit I see and feel within and around me, so, I believe it’s worth it.

Can you feel it? Does this ring true in the deepest part of yourself?

Enjoy the journey. This. This what our life is about.

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